I didn’t ask for this. As a matter of fact if I could go back in time I would change quite a lot of things. However, the show must go on.
Let me tell you a bit about myself. I’m just another hungry young pip looking to make ends meet. I am the firstborn in my family. It’s a small family. Just 4 other siblings and my mum. I have never known who my father really is, in fact my siblings and I are only related because of our mother. We are all from different men. But who can blame her, she had to look for ways to feed her family.
In case you haven’t figured it out, my mum is a sex worker, prostitute, or whatever term you’d like to use. Not for one bit do I judge my mummy for what she does, I, however, hate her for introducing me to this life. Sometimes I feel like I should just hang myself but my little siblings are the ones who keep me going. I have to stay. I have to see them get an education. I have to ensure that none of them get into this life. So yes, I am also a prostitute. But not your regular kind.
I often look back at that night I first had sex and wonder what would be different about my life if that did not happen. Maybe I wouldn’t have known about this other side of me. Maybe I’d have lived for years unhappy and unsatisfied with what I was getting because I preferred meat to a veggie.
Our house was my mummy’s “office”. Her clients would step in, get their service and go away. I, on the other hand, was just an earshot away. It was a single room separated only by a thin curtain. I’d listen and hear how the men moaned with pleasure and this sort of aroused me.
One night, as I was lying in bed with Tommy, my little brother, she pulled the thin curtain. Behind her stood a big well-dressed chap. “Now listen to me,” mummy started, “This nice man doesn’t want people like me, he prefers people like you. So you’ll just allow him to do what he wants with you, because we need the money.”
Reluctantly I agreed. I didn’t know what else I could do. Tommy was really ill so I understood that we needed the money. But was it fair for mummy to throw me under the bus like that? I don’t remember much about that night, I chose to forget it. I do remember though, the pain. I remember that is when I started hating my mother. I also remember that I did enjoy it.
I’m looking at myself in the mirror. I almost cannot recognise who is looking back at me.
A voice brings me back to reality. It’s Bruce. My Tuesday squeeze. He’s amazing and funny and intelligent. It’s not easy to get a man like that nowadays.
“We doing this or what?”
“Yeah. Just give me a second. I’m putting on a condom.”
“We don’t have all night Allan. I have to get back to my wife,” Bruce says.
“Relax. I’m already done.” I jump onto the bed. He looks at me and comments at how handsome he thinks I am.
“Better meat to a veggie,” I joke as I plant a kiss on him.